Do we ever need to forgive ourselves?
For a long time my response to this question was, “If the Father forgives me, who am I to hold a grudge?” But as I work with people I find increasingly that to move on in their relationship with God, they really do need to forgive themselves.
We can’t allow condemnation from the past to define our destiny. That authority to define our destiny is the Father’s alone.
Personally, I know if it wasn’t for the grace of God, I’d have a hard time forgiving myself for near-missed catastrophes. He’s kept me from doing a lot of harm. Thinking about the pain I might have caused people I know it can be difficult to forgive ourselves. But we must.
Forgiving yourself is much like forgiving another :
1. It’s a choice you make – a decision of your will.
2. You agree to live the consequences of your actions – meaning seek forgiveness of others if you can.
3. You leave yourself with God – knowing He’s good and in a good mood.
Choose to forgive yourself now…
Father, I feel the remorse for the pain I’ve caused. I don’t know if I can move on, but I choose to do because I know you’ve created me to fulfill the destiny you have for me. I choose to forgive myself for (name the event). I’m sorry it happened and You know the pain I feel for the pain I’ve caused. Lord, I have/will seek forgiveness from those I’ve hurt. Thank you for forgiving me.
In Christ there is no condemnation, so stop beating yourself up. Next time I’ll teach you how to deal with the emotions you may still have around the pain you’ve caused others.
Amen Bro! This is so true. I went through a major depressive time where I know Father forgave me, my wife forgave me and others forgave me; however, I could not shake this overwhelming guilt and condemnation. One day it hit me that everyone that loved me forgave me and wanted to move, but me. I couldn’t forgive myself because i deemed myself unloving; therefore, unforgivable. The moment I realize the only thing keeping me from drawing closer to the ones I loved, even God, was me. That moment revolutionized my relationship building and nurturing process. Thanks for sharing this. I needed the reminder.