I’ve been working to set up the store on RevTrev.com. Still a few things to do. I hope to have it up on the weekend… but really don’t know if I have the time to. Anyway, it’s always timely to talk about how we honor in conflict.
Honoring someone does not mean there will never be a time you don’t disagree with them. It doesn’t mean there won’t be arguments. Honoring doesn’t mean you’re a doormat. The closer another person is to you, the greater the opportunity for disagreements.
So you need to know how to to fight and still honor. Here are some simple guidelines… simple for me to write, possibly not so simple for you to remember in the heat of conflict. Learn them now and apply them later. And don’t expect the other person to know or appreciate the rules your fighting with, especially if you spring it on them.
H one in on the topic at hand. Speak to the situation “This is what you did/said; this is why I disagree/it upset me.”
O nly speak words of life. Cut out the sarcasm, condemnation and shame.
N ame calling and labels are never to be returned. Resorting to name calling and labels is the same as placing curses on people. Don’t do it to them, even if they started it.
O perate in the present. Avoid saying, “You always” and “You never”. Both are untrue and are used to simply cause pain. If you’re phyiscally present with the person, look at them in the eye and don’t turn your back to them.
R esolve the argument. It’s OK to disagree. Allow them the right to hold their own opinion. Don’t go to bed angry because it gives the enemy a foothold. (Ephesians 4:25-27). Following an argument, don’t bring it up with others to rally support or curry pity; continue to honor the other.
Have you tried to honor in conflict? It isn’t easy, but its necessary. Love to hear about it or if you have a question or comment, please post it.
Very wise advice. More people–including a number of Christians, sorry to say–need to learn these simple, yet hard-to-apply life lessons. God bless you.
excellent rules…i will keep them in my heart and mind…thanks!
Rev.Trev, Is there any other choice? This is already spirit-filled advise…so clearly written rules for true Christian-at-heart to straightened their defensive path.. Honestly speaking, this will be a very steep road for me to follow . I honor so many people but “there are many Big BUTS. Thanks a million times for this enlightening topic u have for us. I am learning….a lot.
I’ll be covering topics like “How to Honor those who don’t deserve it”, “How do we Honor When There’s Been Sin”, “The Process of Reconciliation”, “The Process of Restoring Trust”, and “Can We Honor Unrepented Sin?”
When the person isn’t honorable, honor is never an easy choice, but since the Father has honored us we need to know how to honor others – even if we can’t respect what they do. Keep your questions coming, especially if I haven’t planned a topic that answers your questions. It really helps me to know what advice actually works for others, and not just for me.
Thanks… a had a reader ask if he could add the “u” found in Commonwealth spelling of “Honour”. He adds “understand the others point of view. I think it’s a great addition.
Thanks for the comments. God won’t let us hold truth as an idea in our head or a sentiment in our heart – He wants us to work out it’s implications in every area of our lives. I agree it makes it a “hard-to-apply” life lesson… Good thing He gave us the Holy Spirit