You’re a leader. You may be a pastor, mentor or parent, but you’re in a position of authority. Someone you’re responsible for has sinned and they come expecting the condemnation they are under to be compounded because they’ve confessed a hidden sin and know the myth of grace many in the church hold to.(The “myth of grace” is its for me and not you.)

But Jesus fulfills the prophecy of Isaiah:

A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
In faithfulness he will bring forth justice;
Isaiah 42:3 (New International Version)

Your goal is not to make the problem go away. Don’t lose one the Father has entrusted to you. Your goal is not to cover up the sin. Don’t corrupt the ones you’ve been entrusted with.

Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4 (NLT)

So watch yourselves!
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”

Your goal is reconciliation. The Father has given you this ministry (2 Corinthians 5:16-21). Reconciliation simply means “to make friends again” – your goal is to help the one who is a smoldering wick to be reconciled to:

His or her self
His or her friends
His or her Father

How do you do this?

To begin the process of reconciliation, the person who has sinned must repent of the sin. They must agree with Scripture that it’s wrong and has hurt themselves and others. But I need to warn you, for their sake get to the root of the problem. The “sin” is not the issue. The issue is the wound that allowed the sin to be acceptable to this child of the King in that particular situation.

You get to the root by asking open-ended questions that allows them to examine their motives. Don’t preach. Don’t share your opinion. Ask them questions like “What’s the problem?”, “What can I help you deal with today?” and “Why do you think you did it?”

When you get to the root problem, take the following steps:

1. Ask the Father, Son or Spirit to take the person back to the first time they encountered the root problem in their mind. To make sure the individual is “there”; ask them to describe the situation or picture.
2. Ask Him to reveal the place where the lie took root.
3. Ask the person to find where Jesus (or the Father, or the Spirit) is in the picture.
4. Ask Jesus (or the Father, or the Spirit) to show them the lie they learned from the situation (there can be more than one).
5. Have them renounce the lie.
6. Ask Jesus (or the Father, or the Spirit) what the truth is.
7. Have the person agree with and declare the truth.

There may be many root issues to deal with. If it’s a situation where someone was in a position of trust but they’ve lost that trust because of sin, time needs to be given to both deal with the issues and rebuild the trust that was lost. There shouldn’t be a set time, before they are restored, because it’s a process that’s different for each person and circumstance.

In the next post we’ll talk about the process of restoring trust.

Love to have your questions and comments.