How to Honor Those who Don’t Deserve It
The Hebrew word for honor is also translated at times “glory”. How you honor the unhonorable is to look for the glory the Father has deposited into their lives and pull it to the surface.
Let’s make it practical… someone bursts into your office and screams at you for the current problem they are facing, even though it’s the choices they’ve made that have led them to this crisis… how do you see the “glory” in them?
Pray, while they stand there venting, “Father, what do you love about them?”
Then, when you have a chance, affirm what the Father shows you.
So let’s say this person is a mother and her son is in detox and somehow she’s blaming you for her son’s problems (by the way, this is a common scenario for pastors). What does the Father love about this mother’s passion? There are many things that could be reflecting the nature of the Father. He’ll show you what He’s most proud of in her. Here are some thoughts I’ve received from Lance Wallnau (www.LanceLearning.com) that you can consider in that moment:
Know that the person you’re looking at is a unique creation of the Father and that on the inside of you is a supernatural anointing that has the power to connect and release the unconditional love that that person needs. Your look and care and presence helps them to connect with the greatness that’s locked up on the inside.
The favour of God and the grace of God is flowing through you and if you look closely, even behind their eyes you’ll begin to see there is a re-created, newly created powerful eternal spirit – the likeness and image of God being made manifest in that person right now.
And you’re experiencing the release of total, unconditional acceptance and as you do it, you’re experiencing contribution and growth. And you’re alive when you contribute. You’re alive when you grow.
Now look to see the glory the Father has deposited in them. Look to see the gold He wants you to pull to the surface. What pleases the Father in them? Jesus did not come to condemn them, and He’s not condemning them now. He’s come that they might have life and have it to the full. And you have an opportunity to see that life break the surface.
What you’re doing is training yourself to see people as the Father sees them. And guess what? He’s not angry with His beloved any longer.
“To me this is like the days of Noah,
when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again.
Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:9-10 (New International Version)
By the way, use those same thoughts for those outside the faith as well. It’s the kindness of God that leads us all to repentance.
Love to hear your stories about when this approach has helped you. I know you have questions. I’ll try to answer them especially if they aren’t covered in future posts.
My name is Trevor Lund. I'm a Christian Speaker, Author and Lead Dreamer for Expectancy Ministries. I love to impart hope and empower destiny with creative communication, memorable motivation and applicable inspiration.
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8 Responses to “How to Honor Those who Don’t Deserve It”
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Rev Trev,
Great post. When one can master himself (and his emotions), he can master anything. :]
Brandon
That’s a choice we all need to make… as long as we realize Stoicism was a pagan philosophy, not a sign of spiritual maturity
When one feel heaven in his/her heart.. truly he/she won’t be affected with such unexpected burst- out and possibly can apply the calmness of heart . You have said it well,very clearly explained. I am now considering to approach the one I lost respect because of his being bias in dealing with members. I love him as a brother in Christ but I don’t like him. He don’t deserve my respect. but after reading your post.. Seems you hit the most loaded bases. thanks, Rev.Trev.
even though i am not a pastor, your words inspire help me to not judge others…thanks for the wisdom….
You have put into words the very actions of God toward us. We go to Him with all of our frustrations, pour them out before Him, and all the while, He’s seeing what He is proud of in us, and His goals for us, loving us through the whole ordeal.
Can we do any less?
Thanks Katherine. Every book I write I need to live out first… well maybe not the novels…. anyway, this was a great lesson for me to learn on put into practice.
Of course, this isn’t just for pastors. I use it when I connect with people on the street and ask God to connect me to them in a way they know it’s Him they’re connecting with.
I’ve been there often. Truth be told – it’s toughest to show honor to the dishonorable in the church. It’s not like they’re in sin – I’ll blog about how to deal with that on Friday – but sometimes its personalities, sometimes it’s lack of social graces, sometimes it’s a mistaken spirituality… Lord, show us how to love each other as you love the church and gave yourself up for her… I think He wants that in and outside the marriage relationship.